Sunday, March 9, 2014

checking in

7 months ago i met this guy and my life hasn't been the same since
when i met him, life wasn't on my side. he was there when i was broken and he was there to put the pieces back together. he makes me a better person than i could ever hope to be without him. everyday i wonder how i scored him. seriously though, i realllly can't figure it out.
i'm madly, head over heals, ridiculously in love.
i even love those things about him that can drive me crazy. 

i'll cancel the gross love talk now. 
i am indeed turning into one of  'those' girls -- 
but this blog has documented my life for the last 3.5 years
it's fulfilling to go back and read how far i have come and read the experiences where i learned lifelong lessons.
in the span of this blog i have moved to north carolina
fallen in "love" twice and had my heart broken. twice. 
met friends. and lost friends. 
had the time of my life
grew up and learned SO much about life
been bullied and experienced betrayal
made some of the hardest decisions i've ever had to make
moved back to Utahhh
and so. much. more.
why stop now?

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Life as of late


++ officially settled back into my utah roots and loving it. started my semester back at utah state yesterday and so far, so good! feels great to be back in the ring. 

      ++ my sweet nephew was blessed this past weekend. it was lovely! 

++ austin and i are loving living closer to each other! it's so much better than being 2,000 plus miles away. now i have absolutely no idea how we managed that! 

++ maybe, sort of, kinda getting used to this utah cold again (knock on wood) 

++ guilty of being totally stoked for this season of "the bachelor" or, as austin calls it, i'm excited for "jaunuary"

                   ++ today, three years ago, i pulled my car into wilmington, north carolina. i miss it everyday, wilmington will always be a home to me. but i feel really at peace because i know, without a single doubt, that i was led to this decision by the spirit. and the comfort that brings is pretty dang unbeatable. 

Some of my favorite people. I am so blessed!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Thoughts from the road

i miss the days when i would stay home from school and mom would make me campbell's chicken noodle soup while i watched little bear on tv. or everyday after school when my sister courtney and i would argue about how many times the welch's juice commercial changed colors before watching arthur. (never did settle that one.) i also miss the days when mtv actually played music. when life was innocent and i was naive. when the worst thing that could happen was having to do my daily chores. 
i learned that i wasn't invincible when I was six years old and in the middle of my first grade year. i was in a bike reck resulting in a blown eye brow bone, concussion, messed up knee and some reconstructive surgery to boot. 

i learned the birds and the bees in third grade after i was kissed on the cheek behind the school and was sure i was now pregnant all the way home. 

i learned what evil was in fifth grade when i walked into our downstairs gym and watched as my mom quickly hopped off the treadmill watching the news. together we watched a second plane crash into a tower and watched them fall down. my world, or rather, our world, hasn't been the same since. 

i learned what death was in sixth grade when a young man in my ward committed suicide. it shook a lot people very close to me, and was my first viewing and funeral. 

i learned what it felt like freshman year to be held to a higher standard and to be an example to my siblings and peers. 

i learned that my family wasn't perfect junior year. 

i learned that i couldn't fix everything, that some things happen anyway when my parents divorced my senior year of high school. 

i learned how to live for something greater than myself after my freshman year of college. 

i learned to be brave, face my fears, and to do something extraordinary when i was nineteen and started a new life in wilmington, north carolina, away from family, friends, and everything i have ever known. 

[insert numerous life lessons here] 

i learned that i can do hard things, and once again be brave, to follow the lord's plan for me, even when it differs from my own when i again got in my car and drove alone back across the country; bringing all the experiences and growth from the last three years with me at nearly twenty-three years old. 

i'm back out west, and though it wasn't easy, and i am sure it won't be. (when is life ever really easy, anyway, right?) i know it was the right thing for me. and sometimes the hard thing and the right thing are the same. 
i'm so blessed in countless ways.
 i am excited to start this new chapter in my life 
and to continue learning and progressing through this crazy, unpredictable thing called life. 
bring it on!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

here goes nothing

i am moving back out west in a week in a half.
i woke up one morning early this week after a lot of prayer and self reflection
and realized there is no reason to sit on my hands anymore about it
i know it's happening
i know i am moving no matter what
there's nothing else holding me back here in nc
time to go. time to keep growing.
i put in my notice at work
made the necessary phone calls
and i am ready to go. 
it's scary, don't get me wrong..... 
wilmington has become my home and it'll be hard to leave it.
but for the last three years, i had the incredible opportunity to live my dream
and i did it. i did it well.
i am not giving up on my dream, this dream has just come to an end
i am beginning a new dream

that's what life is about, right?
experiencing different things, different dreams
life is meant for growing, progressing, learning
it's hard to realize and to accept that the place you have come to love and call home
can no longer provide those necessary and crucial parts of life 
but i have sincere faith in this next step of my life
three years ago when i moved across the country all alone
i lived by the saying, "feel the fear, and do it anyway."
today, three years later, i am again living by that saying
i did, i have, and i will feel the fear, and i will keep doing it anyway

i'm everything from anxious, nervous, scared, and excited to end this chapter
and open another one that includes more of the most important people in my life

idaho, i am coming at you for christmas.
utah, i'll be coming at you shortly after. you will be home!

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Turkey Day 2013

happy, happy, happy thanksgiving!!!

i definitely have a lot to be thankful for this year [and every year] 
here are just a few of the people i am extra thankful for today [and every day] 

i wouldn't be here without these guys above, my amazing parents. i will forever be grateful for their examples in my life. everything i am, i owe to them. 
my dad is the hardest working and most loving man i've yet to meet. must have done something right for heavenly father to let me be in his family!
i've said this before and i'll say it again, because it still holds to be true, if not more so. my mother is the most beautiful person on this earth, she's my best critic and my strongest supporter. she reminds me what strength looks like.  
my goofy siblings, and my sweet nephew, graham! i'm especially grateful for the woman my older sister, courtney, has become. she is an incredible example to me and our younger siblings. and she's one awesome mom! my brother in law, jacob, has been one of the best things to happen to our family and we are lucky to have him! and they make the cutest babies! my little brother, kendall, thinks he is cooler than i am, and, well, i'll admit it, he is. and my little sister, mckell, she's cooler than us all and seriously amazes me everyday! 
my step mama - i definitely lucked out in this department, nicole is beautiful inside and out and i'm blessed to have her in my life to look up to. i'm definitely not cinderella in my story.
my grandparents - i mean, really. how cute are they?! love these two more than words can even begin to express. 
my wonderful step siblings. it's weird to think that 6 years ago i had no idea who they were, but now i can't imagine life without either one of them. they are truly my brother and my sisters, we won the lottery when we got to add them to our family!
and if you're wondering, the above photo of sam and i was taken this summer in turkey when we both got chosen to be in a turkish leather fashion show. i think sam would agree when i say it was probably one of the strangest moments of our lives. 
austin brady jensen - he's been a huge blessing in my life and such a strength to me the last 4 months. he's become my very best friend. it blows my mind everyday i can call him mine! and such a stud, right?! ;)
jaimie scoville - jaimie, or jams, as i call her, has been my best friend since i was six months old. i sure am grateful for this one! she's my rock! and as jaimie likes to say, "it's you and i, from birth to eternity, and from diapers to diapers"
cari mcelroy - roommate, roommate. she's a trooper for putting up with me day in and day out. love her so.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

4.5 months later

dear blog,
meet austin. 
he's a handsome devil, and definitely the best guy i know. 
i think i'll keep him a while. ;)

Thursday, November 21, 2013



++ i am suffering from a post vacation depression.
i spent the last two weeks in utah for my best friend's wedding, 
seeing family and friends and in northern california with my 
sister, brother in law and new perfect, sweet and
freakishly adorable nephew, graham. 
t'was perfect!

++ i am so ready and so excited to move to utah. i definitely
received further confirmation while out there that it is the right
move for me.  i'll take the plunge after new years! 
come at me 2014!

++ the first song on my little playlist was shown to me 
to by sister because it is pretty much the story of my life
right now. don't you love finding that?  
sara, you've done it again. 

++ the new cw show, "reign" is my newest obsession. so addicting.
again, i can thank my sister for that.  

++ i am fairly certain i am one of the luckiest gals alive. 

++ happy (almost) friday!