Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Thoughts from the road

i miss the days when i would stay home from school and mom would make me campbell's chicken noodle soup while i watched little bear on tv. or everyday after school when my sister courtney and i would argue about how many times the welch's juice commercial changed colors before watching arthur. (never did settle that one.) i also miss the days when mtv actually played music. when life was innocent and i was naive. when the worst thing that could happen was having to do my daily chores. 
i learned that i wasn't invincible when I was six years old and in the middle of my first grade year. i was in a bike reck resulting in a blown eye brow bone, concussion, messed up knee and some reconstructive surgery to boot. 

i learned the birds and the bees in third grade after i was kissed on the cheek behind the school and was sure i was now pregnant all the way home. 

i learned what evil was in fifth grade when i walked into our downstairs gym and watched as my mom quickly hopped off the treadmill watching the news. together we watched a second plane crash into a tower and watched them fall down. my world, or rather, our world, hasn't been the same since. 

i learned what death was in sixth grade when a young man in my ward committed suicide. it shook a lot people very close to me, and was my first viewing and funeral. 

i learned what it felt like freshman year to be held to a higher standard and to be an example to my siblings and peers. 

i learned that my family wasn't perfect junior year. 

i learned that i couldn't fix everything, that some things happen anyway when my parents divorced my senior year of high school. 

i learned how to live for something greater than myself after my freshman year of college. 

i learned to be brave, face my fears, and to do something extraordinary when i was nineteen and started a new life in wilmington, north carolina, away from family, friends, and everything i have ever known. 

[insert numerous life lessons here] 

i learned that i can do hard things, and once again be brave, to follow the lord's plan for me, even when it differs from my own when i again got in my car and drove alone back across the country; bringing all the experiences and growth from the last three years with me at nearly twenty-three years old. 

i'm back out west, and though it wasn't easy, and i am sure it won't be. (when is life ever really easy, anyway, right?) i know it was the right thing for me. and sometimes the hard thing and the right thing are the same. 
i'm so blessed in countless ways.
 i am excited to start this new chapter in my life 
and to continue learning and progressing through this crazy, unpredictable thing called life. 
bring it on!

3 comments:

Carolyn said...

Love this post. You definitely had a lot of time on the road to think of your life up to this point. And you wrote it well. Will you please write my obituary someday?! Love you!

MissDMarie said...

I am glad that you made it back. You're very brave to drive across country alone! Don't forget I want to visit sometime next year ;)

Jill Binks said...

I love this post! You're such a brave woman and I'm glad we became friends our freshman year! How lucky am !?