liliac wine, i feel unsteady.

this weekend i feel sort of... blah. currently i am sitting at port city java with a hazelnut hot chocolate that i don't even really like (but it's getting nippy outside. i also bought gloves today. what?) and slowly editing away on my first project i've been given at my new job (along with golf shop assistant, i do all their video work. hooray... i get to edit golf videos and random snips of my boss being a quack... it's more exciting than it sounds.) but anyway- this is how i am spending my saturday night. why am i so lame? maybe it's because i am just that. lame. or... melancholy. or because my best friend has gone home for the weekend leaving me alone without my better half. it's all of the above, in case you were wondering. but hey... that's okay. it's giving me time to sit here, sip on my nasty hot chocolate and think about everything i should be doing and all the things people want me to do and be. and how i am failing perfectly at them all. on my list of things to do tomorrow is delete this horribly depressing blog post. because let's be real, i really am so grateful. i have a good life. i have a very fortunate job that somehow fell into my lap. i have fantastic friends. and i have a church calling that yes, has given me my fair share of emotional break downs, but it's still one of my biggest blessings right now. and really- at the end of the day. that's pretty cool. and well.. i think i'll get back to my editing. i am probably not supposed to get paid for blogging. but it's been fun anyway. 

i bid thee a sweet farewell. 
why am i so weird.