Tuesday, March 22, 2011

My story

It's no secret that I picked up and moved my life to Wilmington, North Carolina. It's a dream I have had since I was young. Everyone... and I mean everyone... asks me why there? why now? why why why? The story goes like this.... read at your own risk?

I have always craved getting out on my own. I used to research places to live one day when I was old enough. (Yes, I realize how completely nerdy and unnatural this sounds... but hey, I could dream.) One day I stumbled upon a little town, nestled on the East coast called Wilmington, North Carolina. I was instantly attached. I didn't know why, I didn't know how, all I knew was that one day I would live there. I started learning everything about it. Before long I was an expert on life in Wilmington. I was certain, if I had the chance, I could cruise my way around the town like a local. I was in love. I quickly found out another name for Wilmington was Hollywood East. Wasn't there only one Hollywood? And wasn't it in California? Wrong. Wilmington is home of EUE/Screen Gem Studios. The largest film studio outside of Los Angelos. Movies upon movies have been filmed there, along with TV shows, including the hit Dawson's Creek and One Tree Hill.... umm, RAD! (That seemed almost too good to be true with my goal to one day study film) I remember one experience when I was about 14 where I decided I couldn't wait any longer. I ran to my parents and begged them to move my family there. I put on quite the show! (Even showing them houses we could buy and people who needed my dad's excellent dental work....okay, okay, I know now that that was utterly bizzare!) But it didn't matter... I was shut down. I was definitely bummed. But I will be the first to admit I was a bit crazy, did I really think my parent's would move arcross the country for their fourteen year old daughter's craziness? Nah, I guess not. Life went on and I grew up. Never loosing sight of that dream but becoming better in touch with reality and life.

Eventually I went off to college and all seemed to be going quite well. Summer of 2010 was a hard one for me. I struggled emotionally and physically. I was in a lot of pain and wasn't sure how to end it. Life seemed to be going downhill at a very fast rate and I was scared. I still wanted to be a television producer, but my current schooling didn't offer a great major that could help me reach that goal. I began looking up schools with great film study programs. and then I saw it. University of North Carolina-Wilmington. Could it be??? The same Wilmington I have dreamed of growing up? It was! They had an excellent Film Study program. Then came the fear. Okay wait, oh golly... do I really have the guts to move across the country by myself? The plan was always to pursue that dream AFTER graduating college.

Then one morning, I woke up and just knew it was time. I needed this now more than ever. But I needed to get out there first and make sure this really was where I wanted my life to be. My dad graciously flew out with me in August for a short four day trip. I was so excited and so nervous. The moment the airplane touched land I knew I was home. I remember looking out my small airplane window and being filled with so much emotion. I was home. Right when I returned back to Idaho it was planning time. Nothing was stopping me now. It was now or never. I planned the road trip my mom and I would take out there with my entire life in the backseat. I scheduled the date I would take off. And with a few minor miracles and connections, I found an apartment with great roommates in a perfect location. I was set. I quickly found something to live for again. I finished my semester and enjoyed the holidays. Right after New Years we started my journey. And ever since arriving in Wilmington, it has been pure bliss. I can't say one bad thing about it. Not once have I questioned my decision to come out here.  It is very obvious to my friends and family back home that this is the happiest I have ever been. and it's so true. I still don't know exactly why this is where I am supposed to be, or why I knew it so early on in life. But I do know without a shadow of a doubt I belong here. and that feels right. It feels awesome, actually. Sure, I miss my family everyday. Sure, there have been days where I feel very alone and miss those people that truly know me. But everyday I learn so much about life and myself. This experience has changed me into a much better and a stronger person. In a very real way, it has healed me.

It all comes down to this, follow your dreams. Please. don't let fear stand in your way. I have taken on the saying "feel the fear and do it anyway" and it has been my motto throughout this whole journey. Whenever I felt that touch of utter terror creep in, I remembered that and somehow it made everything better. I figured no fear was to strong to block my dream. I'm not saying moving across the country is right for everyone. But we all have dreams. Right? And there is no dream too big, too small or too impossible. (Unless it's like.... I don't know, becoming a robot and taking over the world, but hey. Who am I to say??) So, follow your craziest dream, come on, do it. I dare ya.

Sidenote: BJG.... choose me? and uh, let's do lunch? ;) Kidding... sort of? kind of? well, not really. but yes.


Jill Robinson said...

This was great. I love seeing how things like this just piece together. I love you! :)

Courtney Kearns said...

that's what i'm talking about